Sunday, August 31, 2008

Petey Beans a 'Hoo!

"Virginia Tech is playing at UVA, which has a first down with three minutes left in the half. A UVA fan sets off firecrackers, and Virginia Tech -- thinking it's the end of the half -- runs off the field. Three plays later, UVA punts." Excerpted from "Wahoo Jokes," courtesy VA Tech alum.

Nothing like in-state rivalries, huh??!! I guess the VA Tech alums aren't feeling too Whoopee today either, after their underachieving season opener yesterday vs. East Carolina. That they had to lithen to Lou Holthz thpeak about hith thun's thunning upthet all day on E-ETH-PN must only add to the trauma. If they are not the most underachieving college football team always ranked in the pre-season Top 25, then I'm a Pitt fan. Oh, wait....

The ---yawn---results from Heinz Field yesterday reminded me about just how many college football programs have tried to go out there and get their Pete Carroll. I know, I know -- Pitt upset West Virginia in a late-season big game last year that helped turn the BCS standings upside down. But, just because Dave Wannstedt coached in the NFL does not mean he is Petey. Nobody is Petey. Just, nobody.

It's now well-known that Petey takes the Trojies a long way from home for season openers or early season games on a regular basis. He doesn't schedule Division 1-AA teams - ever. Since all the debates about the pre-season rankings will work themselves out in real games in the next few weeks, we don't need to argue about who had the bigger win yesterday: #1 Georgia vs. GA Southern (AT Georgia); tOSU vs. Youngstown State (AT tOSU); or USC vs. Virginia (AT Virginia). The most important thing is that SC didn't injure a prospective Heisman Trophy winner in the process.

That actually happened about three weeks ago. We could not have known then what we seem to think now -- that Mark Sanchez playing with a fatty knee brace over a still-recovering patella subluxation would torch a Division 1 team from a BCS conference for almost 400 yards. And drop a 49-yard bomb directly into the hands of a sprinting Ronald Johnson who had left the safety behind about 40 yards earlier. This we have not seen for a very long time. It's nice to have it back. Just imagine what this guy might do if he wasn't playing on a gimpy leg?

Not so fast, my friends. While I don't wish to denigrate the very polite and sportsmanlike Cavaliers in any way, it must be said that USC will clearly face a lot more pressure on the line in two weeks against tOSU. It's important to play all the games before we declare that he should be the fourth Heisman winner at USC in the last seven years. Sanchez *probably* won't have time in that game to cook steak AND boil rice in the backfield before checking off to the fourth receiver. Among other things. But, his performance definitely beat the alternative of seeing him go to the locker room and return in a boot. Sorry, Beanie. I really hope you are 110% on September 13 at the Coliseum. Because, if your team loses, I don't want to hear for the next year about how they would have won if only Beanie had been well.

Apart from Sanchez, the biggest question was the new O-line. Asked and answered yesterday. They were almost flawless, in fact. No false starts, only one procedure call, and only one hold on a run play that was subsequently recovered on the next few plays with ease. I don't know how they will stack vs. tOSU. I don't do the player-by-player analysis -- that's for rabid football bloggers, not me. But, they certainly are fit, well-coached (I see you, Coach GPR!), and a finely-tuned unit after one game. After all of last year's injury on O, it would be great to see that bunch stay together all year.

The defense doesn't need any kudos from me -- they have every college football sports mouthpiece in the land reading verbatim from the media guide and this week's presser. About how all starting 11 are headed to the first round of the NFL draft -- seven of them next spring. Blah, blah, blah. I most assuredly cannot add much to that.

One of the most comical aspects of the commentary during the game was the "keys to the game" mentioned for Virginia. The second key was about hoping that the heat and humidity of the playing conditions would "wear down" their opponent. Excuse me. This is the same program that went into Auburn for their first game of the 2003 season with a new quarterback who, unlike Sanchez, had never even started a game. His first pass went for a touchdown, and the final result was a 23-0 win down there in the SEC.

Y'all can't tell me that the worst heat and humidity in Virginia will ever be as bad as the heat and humidity in early September anyplace in the SEC. Besides, the strength and conditioning team is cut from the same cloth as the medical team that rehabbed Sanchez back from his injury. The same injury that the always erudite Desmond Howard suggested pre-game probably should have been remedied by season-ending surgery. Doh.

So, I guess that fairly characterizes the helplessness that Virginia felt before taking the field. They scheduled a tough program because their coach wanted them to learn from it and get better. Since the final result represents their worst home loss since 1984, I hope he didn't inadvertently drop-kick their self-esteem back into the Stone Age. I'm sure they are REALLY looking forward to the back half of the home-and-home in two years in Los Angeles.

A 45-point win on the road. No season-ending injuries that we know about. A real leader at QB who has waited since 2005 to be called the strongest arm at SC since Carson Palmer and the hardest working player that Petey has ever seen in the program. A bye week before the biggest regular season game of the year with national implications. The strong possibility of a win against that team at home. The certainty that a win in that game will move the team up the rankings. Me likey. Thanks, Petey!! Fight ON!!!!

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