Finding My Inner Piglet

"When the ashes clear from this economic Armageddon, the leaders and organizations left standing will be the ones that stand for something. That have a clear purpose.

I’m sure of this because I worked with two CEO-founders who indeed stood for something: Herb Kelleher of Southwest Airlines (LUV) and Sam Walton of Wal-Mart (WMT). I worked with these iconic entrepreneurs on their companies’ advertising, marketing and internal culture. They taught me that performance is driven by the core purpose of an organization. This is true particularly when crisis is all around.

So what is purpose anyway? Purpose is the definitive difference you make in the marketplace and the world."

Roy Spence, Fortune, 2/18/09

I got what I wanted this week. I was offered the opportunity to join something really big. A big company. A big subject. A big group of amazing, professional, values-driven people. At a very big time in history.

I've never felt smaller.

For me, feeling small is a new sensation. My height has never earned me the "small" label. I can't think back far enough on my own to remember a time when I would have truly qualified as small. I was always kind of like a pony growing up. Mostly legs. A token bit of torso. Fortunately, a high-energy brain was attached to the end of all of it. And, a beating heart.

The brain is what earned me the opportunity to even be in the discussion about being big. But, that heart and the heart that is my heart got me the job.

I've learned about heart from my oldest daughter, now seven weeks from her 22nd birthday. 2009 will represent the first year since she was six years old that she will not be listed on somebody's soccer roster. Despite all of her best efforts, expectations, hard work, endless rehab, and long-term potential, career-ending injury overtook her last Fall. For the good of her overall well-being and the fruitful life that we hope lies ahead for her, she made the decision with her remarkable head coach and her equally-remarkable and compassionate surgeon that she must hang up the cleats. Not for the wearing of them as a coach or mentor, but as a competitive player. Something she's been for so long, she can't remember on her own when she wasn't that way.

She was like a pony growing up, too. The scenes of her galloping up and down the soccer field at an early age and scoring goals in bunches got her effectively booted out of the recreational league. We endured the glares of angry moms who thought the egalitarian AYSO games were about sharing the ball. Less about winning.

Turns out she was all about winning. All the time. She hated to lose more than she loved to win. Winning came easy. Winning was expected and became the norm. But, real life-learning came from both winning and losing.

Losing the ability to continue to compete on the field caused her to completely reevaluate what she wanted to do with her life off the field. And, she went after the subject with the same ferocity that vaulted her to national recognition in her sport by the age of 13.

Sometimes we spend so much time mourning what we have lost, we can't see what we might have gained in the process. I know that I have struggled with this challenge in recent months.

The only thing I can say with a certainty is that nothing on earth lasts. It's all fleeting. The good times never last. And, fortunately, the bad times generally don't last forever either. At least, not in their most dire, bottom-of-the-pit bad times form. You eventually come out of whatever you're in.

If you're paying attention, you know that you don't come out of the pit the same way you went into it.

As I plopped into the center seat closest to the front of the Southwest flight back to Denver from Salt Lake City yesterday, I thought that the resolution I had wanted for Friday, February 27, 2009 would not be forthcoming. I tried to make myself smaller in the seat so that the people who had fought for -- and won -- the right to the aisle and window seats wouldn't feel so cheated.

While my cell phone slept in the air, I was unaware that bigger and higher things than me were working on my behalf. Rapidly. Working an entire array of other phones. Lining up the pieces.

Making a big thing happen. Making it happen for little, 'ol me.

Time to Fly

"A silent pig digs the deepest root."

Lithuanian proverb

I don't know what that means. Seriously. I was just looking for something that had the word "silent" and the word "pig" in it. And, that's what I found.

When Pigs Fly went silent last week. About a quarter to the middle of last week. Somewhere between "Trojan Pig" and a phone call that will, hopefully, change my life.

Twas not for lack of porky subjects. I just wasn't in the mood to tell a story. I'm not in a mood to tell a story today either. But, I wanted to sign on today, just to sign off for the week. I have some things to do that don't require my undivided attention. But, I think I will pretend that undivided attention will effect a positive outcome.

I don't usually struggle with multitasking. But, I'm not going to take the chance that a whirling dervish is just as good as a stoic, with laser-focused attention to detail. Not this week. I'm looking to dig a deep root.

See you next week.

Trojan Pig in Our Town

“I always listen to the speech of Obama in the commercial that he will help pay the rent of (our) house.”

Third-grade boy somewhere in Colorado.

Denver was once considered a "cowtown."

You know a cowtown when you see one. First, it's a "town," not a city. A "town," of course, is any urban area with a fixed boundary. No spilling out into an unending array of little towns, one after the other, connected by a north-south Interstate highway.

Yes, there was a time when one left the Denver city limits and didn't encounter anything but a few, scattered country dwellers until one reached the city limits of Colorado Springs.

The "cow" part is even better understood. If your town is located in one of the cattle-raising sections of North America, you might be a Cowtown.

Across the street from our neighborhood, the last remaining land available in Highlands Ranch for new home construction used to be an open field for cattle grazing. The cows -- black, brown, black-and-white -- would come right up to the barbed wire fence to graze. Wildcat Reserve Parkway was a two-lane avenue destined for four-lane greatness. We knew when we moved here that this bucolic view would disappear in part once the graders started preparing Back Country for its 16-section community development.

With time, the cow appearances were fewer. And, farther between. Once the roads went in and framing began on the community entrance, we didn't see the cows for a long time.

But, curiously, at the far east end of the enormous parcel, a small sliver of private land must still be operating. One day last week, coming over Wildcat Reserve at the summit, by Mountain Vista High School, I was unavoidably distracted by the appearance of cows. Right by the fragile-looking fence. Right by the road.

That this sight used to be commonplace and isn't anymore was as much the distracting thought as the sight of the cows.

Yesterday, a new animal made an appearance in our fair City. Yes, it's a City. It's a metropolitan area of no fewer than 2.5 million people. Not big by Big City standards. But, pretty dang big for a former Cowtown. And, the Capital of the Great State of Colorado.

Yesterday, a dude named Nathan the Pig was one of two guests of honor at the big "You Don't Know Stimulus" anti-pork rally on the Capital steps. He must have been relieved to learn that he wasn't serving as the other guest of honor. That would be, of course, a whole, completely slow-roasted pig that was asked to lunch. To BE lunch.

Meanwhile, the Porkulus Bill was being signed within the City limits. It took two 747s, a motorcade with about 150 police escorts, and a long string of speeches to get to that point. But, get to that point we ultimately did.

One of the pre-President speakers was the CEO of a Boulder-based solar company. He made it sound like his fledgling business had no chance of survival without the Porkulus Stimulus. But, his company website forgot to take down the long list of government subsidy already in place.

You might not be interested to read all of it. But, if you really want to get a tingle up your leg, read the very last section. The one about company benefits.

I've worked in business all my life, which is about 2,486 years in dog years. I've never had more than three weeks of paid vacation in a year. In my life.

Obviously, I've been in the wrong bizness. But, if this company represents that it could hardly stay afloat with all of this existing help, why would anyone shovel more money in its direction?

Why, indeed.

Hope it's not another ethanol boondoggle in the making.....

"Blake Jones, CEO of Boulder-based Namaste Solar, said his company’s future is already looking brighter with the signing of the bill. Jones, who led Obama and Vice President Joe Biden on a tour of solar panels his company installed on the museum’s roof, said he had been considering laying off some of his 55 employees. Now, he’s looking to expand his work force by 40 percent by 2010, he said.

“We’re just one small business, creating one to two dozen jobs,” Jones said. “The point that I want to stress is that there are thousands of businesses just like ours that will be doing the same thing.”

From the company website:

OVERVIEW:

On both National and State levels, there are programs in place to help “level the economic playing field” between green, renewable energy sources (like solar electricity) and polluting, finite energy sources (such as fossil fuels and nuclear energy). The latter already receive billions of dollars annually in subsidies and incentives, so we’re extremely pleased that renewable energy technologies are now receiving government assistance as well.

GEO solar rebates now available for customers in Fort Collins, Longmont, United Power, Poudre Valley, Estes Park and other territories! Click here for more information.

Residential Systems (smaller than 10.0kW):

* 40-50% utility rebate ($3.50 per DC watt) for Xcel customers
* 30-40% utility rebate ($3.00 per DC watt) for Fort Collins, Longmont, United Power, Poudre Valley and Estes Park customers
* 30% federal income tax credit
* 15% rebate of City sales and use tax for projects within Boulder City limits

SUMMARY OF INCENTIVES IN COLORADO:

Residential Systems (smaller than 10.0kW):

* 40-50% utility rebate ($3.50 per DC watt) for Xcel customers
* 30% federal income tax credit
* 15% rebate of City sales and use tax for projects within Boulder City limits

Small Commercial Systems (smaller than 10.0kW):

* 40-50% utility rebate ($3.50 per DC watt) for Xcel customers
* 30% federal income tax credit
* 5-year MACRS accelerated depreciation schedule
* 15% rebate of City sales and use tax for projects within Boulder City limits

Large Commercial Systems (larger than 10.0kW):

* 25-30% utility rebate ($2.00 per DC watt) for Xcel customers
* 20-year utility payments for system’s “REC” production for Xcel customers
* 30% federal income tax credit
* 5-year MACRS accelerated depreciation schedule
* 15% rebate of City sales and use tax for projects within Boulder City limits

The Bottom Line
In practical terms, state and federal incentive programs can reduce your total “out-of-pocket” costs for a solar electric (PV) system by as much as 60-70%!!!

…THE EMERGENCY ECONOMIC STABILIZATION ACT OF 2008:

On October 3, 2008, President Bush signed the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008 into law. The new energy bill extends extends the 30-percent federal investment tax credit for both residential and commercial solar installations for 8 years (2009-2016). The legislation improves upon the previous investment tax credits by removing the $2,000 cap for residential solar PV systems and allowing Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT) filers to take the tax credits.

…COLORADO’S AMENDMENT 37 AND HOUSE BILL 1281:

In November of 2004, Colorado voters passed Amendment 37 (A37), mandating that a certain percentage of Colorado’s electricity come from renewable sources such as wind and solar power. The rules were finalized and Xcel began paying out rebates in the Spring of 2006. House Bill 1281 (HB1281) was signed into law by Governor Bill Ritter in early 2007 and effectively doubles the original goals of A37 to 20% by 2020. The incentive is divided into a $2.00 per watt rebate and a $1.50 per watt Renewable Energy Credit payment (REC). Because a typical flush-mount roof array costs about $8 to $9 a watt, the combination of rebate and REC from Xcel, along with the federal tax credit, means that your final out-of-pocket cost can be reduced by about 40% to 50%. This assumes that your system can be installed such that it produces at least 90% of what an optimally positioned array in a shade-free area would produce. If your installed system is predicted to produce less than 90% of optimum, then the REC portion of the Xcel incentive (which is production-based) is reduced accordingly.

…CITY OF BOULDER REBATES & INCENTIVES:

Solar energy systems installed within Boulder city limits are currently eligible for a tax rebate. Boulder City Council approved an ordinance in November 2006 to provide rebates for a portion of sales and use tax on both solar electric (photovoltaic) and solar thermal (hot water) systems. The ordinance was passed to encourage residents and businesses to install renewable energy systems in the city of Boulder. The end effect is a 15% rebate on the Boulder City sales and use taxes paid on a solar PV system.

"Environmental concerns would be a driving force in every aspect of the company.
• Six weeks of paid time off.
• Employees, no matter what their job description, have the same pay scale.
• One percent of yearly revenues goes to solar systems donated to community groups.
• All major decisions would be made by consensus of all company employees."

Every Valentine's Day is Post 9-11 Now

"Beverly Eckert, of Stamford, Connecticut, a 9/11 widow, was identified as one of the passengers on the Continental commuter plane that crashed near Buffalo, N.Y., the Associated Press reports. Eckert was heading to Buffalo for a celebration of what would have been her husband’s 58th birthday, said Mary Fetchet, a 9/11 family activist.

She also had planned to take part in presentation of a scholarship award at Canisius High School that she established in honor of her late husband, the Buffalo News says.

Fetchet says she learned Eckert was aboard the plane from another close Eckert family friend. Officials investigating the crash have not yet confirmed Eckert was on board the plane.

Eckert was part of a small group of Sept. 11 widows, mothers, and children who became amateur lobbyists, ultimately forcing lawmakers in 2004 to pass sweeping reforms of the U.S. intelligence apparatus."

USA Today, 2/13/09

A "9-11 widow."

For years to come, people who lost loved ones in the 9-11 attacks will also die. Some of them will die tragically, like Beverly Eckert. Some of them will die in obscurity. But, all of them will have that parenthetical label. "9-11 survivor." "9-11 widow." "9-11 widower."

Every time these losses make the news, we will relive that day all over again.

It's very different than saying "former Heisman Trophy winner." Or, "former Presidential candidate." Or, "loving wife."

The intersection of "loving wife" with "9-11 widow" in the story of Beverly Eckert is almost too much to bear. Her recounting of the final minutes of her husband's life in the Tower, along with her witness by phone of his death as the Tower fell, is as heavy as any story we will ever read.

It's Valentine's Day, the day for love stories, fictional and true. This one is true.

Rest in Peace, Sean Rooney and Beverly Eckert.

Due Fratelli

"Everything you see I owe to spaghetti."

Sophia Loren


FETTUCCINE WITH PRAWNS VENEZIANA $14.50

Sauteed jumbo prawns prepared with aromatic saffron, zucchini, sundried tomatoes, scallions, and cream; flamed with white wine and served over a bed of fresh spinach fettuccine (Veneto).

It's another one of those days, when I crave something I can't get in Denver. Maybe I CAN get it in Denver, but haven't found it yet. The last time this happened to me, we were in the middle of a big snowstorm. All I wanted was a few things from Tommaso's in San Francisco. It didn't happen then. And, it's not going to happen today either.

All I want to do is cruise down Contra Costa Boulevard in Pleasant Hill, California to Melo's for a plate of Fettuccine with Prawns.

Thanks to two guys from Italy (who, thankfully, restrained themselves from naming their California restaurants "Two Guys from Italy"), I am obsessed with this dish today. Carmelo and Gaetano don't miss me as much as I miss them. Actually, they don't miss me at all. Their large restaurant was always so crowded, there was no room to be recognized. They always greeted us like family. But, that's the way they greeted all their customers.

That picture at the top, that looks like Fettuccine with Prawns, probably isn't. I don't see the sticks of zucchini or the sun-dried tomatoes on that plate. It looks more like Tagliatini Fellini, "....Fresh lemon tagliatini pasta with aromatic sauteed jumbo prawns in a delicate shrimp rosa sauce with vodka (Rimini)." That's a good dish, too; just not as good as Fettuccine with Prawns.

The order was always so large, I could eat my fill for dinner and have enough left over for lunch the next day. I always thought about that to justify the price; which, by the way, isn't much higher than it was when we lived nearby, only as recently as 2002.

We had a lot of good times at Melo's and we contributed our share to their very active take-out business. We started eating there when the girls were really little. In those days, the restaurant was completely inadequate to the demand. The wait for a table was often too much to bear with small children. We ultimately got into the habit of take-out.

We weren't the only people who knew about Melo's. So, the inevitable expansion project began to double the size of the restaurant. They doubled the number of pizza ovens. It was like doubling the number of lanes on a freeway. The extra space didn't do much to shorten the wait times. It just encouraged more people to come to the restaurant to wait.

After the expansion, one of our fondest memories of the place involved the new bar by the newly-expanded kitchen where the pizza dough was prepped. Children were encouraged to sit there at the counter, where they would be awarded a small ball of pizza dough while their family waited for their meal. Or, the dough could be brought to the table for the really little children who needed to stay near their parents. Our girls never tired of playing with the dough, even as they grew. But, the advantage of sitting at the bar was that every child could ooh and aah as the large circles of dough were spun high into the air. And, never dropped on the floor. Fascinating.

I wonder if the food would taste the same now, without the presence of those little, but very long fingers to play with pizza dough while the tantalizing aroma and warmth from the big ovens made the wait unbearable.

I'm willing to find out. I just don't think it will be any time soon.

http://www.melospizzapasta.com/

Junk in Space

"A commercial satellite owned by a U.S. company was destroyed in a collision with a defunct Russian military satellite in what NASA said was the first such accident in orbit, raising new concerns about the dangers of space debris."

Wall Street Journal, 2/12/09

Clean up, Aisle One!

Somewhere, somebody is paid real money to babysit the orbits of all kinds of stuff orbiting the Earth. Following the big bang between a U.S. communications satellite and an apparently defunct Russian Cosmos bird, it's not comforting to read where one of them started a sentence with "in retrospect...."

Now they tell us. They now think they should have seen this one coming. With stuff speeding in a circle at the rate of 17,500 miles per hour, I 'm not sure what would have been so obvious about these two particular satellites and their respective paths through the garbage.

Could it be some sort of harbinger? Of impending doom not heretofore contemplated? Who is responsible for picking up the trash in space? Is this group on the stimulus earmark list? Who pays for it? What day is "trash day" for the U.S. government??

(Chortle. The correct answer to the last question is "every day is trash day." Duh.)

I don't know if it's a metaphor for the economic climate, but in the weeks since Christmas, we've noticed erratic patterns of behavior coming from our Monday trash pick-up in Stonebury. These guys were in their orbit, without interruption for a long time. Even if we put out the trash on Sunday night, we could be certain it would sit at the curb until at least Noon the following day. Sometimes, it would sit there until 2 or 3 o'clock in the afternoon.

We were lulled into complacency. We weren't paying attention to the fact that these guys could change their routine any time they pleased, and we wouldn't have anything to say about it. That we could awake to find ourselves held hostage by the trash guys.

Sure enough, one very cold, snowy Monday morning in early January, they thought it would be fun to cruise the enclave at 8 a.m. Only those residents who left at the crack of dawn or preferred to have their barrels sit out all night in freezing weather and be coated in snow would therefore be served. The rest of us would just have to store our detritus for another week. And, they would speed through the neighborhood at warp speed, since only about every seventh or eighth house would have read the invisible memo.

Not to worry. Our neighborhood isn't known for wallflower homeowners. In fact, the collective rate of Type A behavior hasn't always been the best mix at any venue where more than one beer was served. I knew that I would not even need to pick up the phone. When I saw the truck driving by our house, I calmly walked to the garage, raised the third door, and rolled the cans out to the curb. They would be back. They would get the call from headquarters to take another twirl through Stonebury.

Sure enough, they were back in the neighborhood at their normal Noon time to take another tour around our circle. Through our space. All the cans that weren't at the curb at 8 a.m. had migrated at their usual pace, many of them completely oblivious to the fact that at least one, but more likely, multiple residents had raised their voices in united opposition to this show of arrogance by the "WM" Waste Management crew.

Since then, they appear on Monday across a newly-lax timeframe of somewhere between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. I got the message. I don't wait to get those cans to the curb now, under threat of having to keep anything I don't want anymore for one more day.

Trash day used to be one of my favorite days of the week. It still is, mostly. But, I've noticed that the guys on the truck have found new ways to express their displeasure about how the neighborhood brought them back into line.

They now throw lids and cans helter-skelter after they empty them, as if the cans themselves had anything to say about it. If trash doesn't fall into their truck while they're emptying the cans, they just leave it on the ground.

The last time this happened, I thought about all the people who would love to have their jobs right now. To have the security from knowing that trash is constant, never in short supply. To know that their jobs are completely safe. Because, no matter what other belt-tightening might occur in households around the community, HOA dues are non-negotiable, along with the trash pick-up part of the tab, along with the contract to WM.

Well, that last part might change. I recently learned that some effort is afoot in Highlands Ranch to permit homeowners to make changes to their existing trash service. I don't know if anything will really change, but it does seem that this particular group of guys should probably clean up their act. Turns out they might not be so indispensable after all.

Flying Pork Barrels

"A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money."

Everett Dirksen, Senator from Illinois (1896-1969)

http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

"Where Dreams Become Heart Attacks"

• $2 billion earmark for FutureGen near zero emissions powerplant in Mattoon, IL
• $39 billion slush fund for “state fiscal stabilization” bailout
• $5.5 billion for making federal buildings “green” (including $448 million for DHS HQ)
• $200 million for workplace safety in USDA facilities
• $275 million for flood prevention
• $65 million for watershed rehabilitation
• $200 million for public computer centers at community colleges and libraries
• $650 million for the DTV transition coupon program
• $307 million for constructing NIST office buildings
• $1 billion for administrative costs and construction of NOAA office buildings
• $100 million for constructing U.S. Marshalls office buildings
• $300 million for constructing FBI office buildings
• $800 million for constructing Federal Prison System buildings and facilities
• $10 million to fight Mexican gunrunners
• $1.3 billion for NASA (including $450 million for “science” at NASA)
• $100 million to clean up sites used in early U.S. atomic energy program
• $10 million for urban canals
• $2 billion for manufacturing advanced batteries for hybrid cars
• $1.5 billion for carbon capture projects under sec. 703 of P.L. 110-140 (though section only authorizes $1 billion for five years)
• $300 million for hybrid and electric cars for federal employees
• $198 million to design and furnish the DHS headquarters
• $255 million for “priority procurements” at Coast Guard (polar ice breaker)
• $500 million for State and local fire stations
• $180 million for construction of Bureau of Land Management facilities
• $500 million for wildland fire management
• $110 million for construction for the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service
• $522 million for construction for the Bureau of Indian Affairs
• $650 million for abandoned mine sites
• $75 million for the Smithsonian Institution
• $1.2 billion for summer jobs for youth
• $412 million for CDC headquarters
• $500 million earmark for NIH facilities in Bethesda, MD
• $160 million for “volunteers” at the Corp. for National and Community Service
• $750 earmark for the National Computer Center in MD
• $224 million for International Boundary and Water Commission – U.S. and Mexico
• $850 million for Amtrak
• $100 million for lead paint hazard reduction

Old Dog. Old Trick.

"Experience is a comb which nature gives to men when they are bald."

Chinese Proverb

I'm a very casual Westminster Dog Show viewer. Something like a fair weather friend to the contest. I don't get too excited until one or two category competitions just ahead of the Best in Show.

Last year, so much publicity surrounded the candidacy of "Uno," the American beagle, I had to get excited a day early. I yelled at the TV like an idiot every time that dog's mug filled the screen, as if that would somehow persuade the Best in Show judge -- just released from his sound-proof, hermetically-sealed hotel room. I almost cried when Uno won the cup. He was achingly cute. He was America's Dog.

This year? Not so much. I got into it about 90 minutes ahead of Best in Show. I figured, someone had already done a lot of work to narrow down the enormous field to seven top dogs in their respective classes. And, there was nothing to get hung up about.

Wrong.

The field was typically diverse, but contained some of the most astounding-looking dogs in a single collection I could recall. I didn't know anything about the dogs - their personal stories, their names; and, in some cases, I didn't even recognize their breed. But, one dog really stood out to me. What I know about dog shows and dog judging barely fills the bottom of a thimble. Nevertheless, I spotted my winner. I didn't know his name, but he had the most beautiful coat. And, not just an attitude. A quiet confidence. An air of, "well, I know who I am, and I don't really care what anyone thinks of me." That look of a life well lived and nothing left to lose.

I didn't know his story until the competition was complete. Until about a minute after I was yelling again at the woman who emerged from the tunnel in an evening gown for her 13 minutes of fame. Yelling at her in plain English, "THE SUSSEX SPANIEL." Like she could hear me. Like she might not see the real beauty of the Giant Schnauzer or the amazing grace of the Scottish Deerhound.

'Thank you all,' I heard her say. Oh, please! Please say, "may I have the Sussex Spaniel."

Then she said, 'I love you all, but tonight it's the Sussex.'

I WIN. I WIN. I WIN.

Old dogs everywhere win. I win.

"10-year-old Sussex spaniel wins Westminster show"

By BEN WALKER

NEW YORK (AP) — An old Sussex spaniel taught dogdom a new trick.

At 10, Stump became the oldest best in show winner ever at the Westminster Kennel Club, coming out of retirement only last week and walking off with the top prize Tuesday night.

A nearly full crowd at Madison Square Garden cheered loudly when judge Sari Tietjen pointed to the new champion. Perhaps the fans knew Stump's backstory — he almost died in 2004 from a medical condition, saved by the vets at Texas A&M.

Or perhaps the people just liked rooting for the old guy.

He's almost 70 in human years!

Never before had a Sussex spaniel won the nation's top pooch show. The previous oldest winner was 8.

With floppy ears and a slow gait, the golden-red Stump beat out a sparkling field. Expert handler Scott Sommer guided him past a giant schnauzer that was ranked the nation's No. 1 show dog, a favored Brussels griffon, a Scottish deerhound named Tiger Woods, a standard poodle with 94 best in show wins, a Scottish terrier and a puli.

Nearly 2,500 dogs were entered at the 133rd edition of Westminster. Last year's champion, a beagle named Uno, was perhaps the most popular winner ever.

Can't Buy Me Love

"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles today,
Tomorrow will be dying."

Robert Herrick, 17th Century English Poet (1591-1674)

Like many things on the internet, I'm not exactly sure now how I stumbled upon it. I know I wasn't using StumbleUpon. But, somewhere between Google and an unsolicited eHarmony ad in the margins, I discovered SocialGrid and its somewhat complex "Soulmate Manifesto."

Not that I'm looking or anything. I'm sure I found my soulmate at a backyard barbeque in 1968. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. But, for anyone not yet so fortunate, I wondered if this left-brained approach to love could be useful.

Since I've always made my living in bizness, I was naturally drawn immediately to "Love Economics," which was defined in one, simple sentence: "...a new love theory to promote intelligent dating by explaining love using simple math equations." I rattled around in this section just long enough to multiply my gratitude for not being in the dating arena times my age in dog years, cubed by my shoe size. I solved for a familiar-looking number, somewhere in the region of 9,700,000,000,000.

It didn't take much more calculating to see that I was bored and dismayed by this analytical approach to matchmaking. But, I did take note of one prong of the Love Economics model that seemed to make a lot of sense. I probably know at least 20 people between the ages of 17 and 30 who should consider the implications surrounding "Opportunity Cost of Love."

Forsooth: "Opportunity cost is the net benefit from being in another relationship. Most people are not aware of this hidden cost. While you are in love, you could have been in love with someone who is much better for you. Also, the time, money, and energy that were invested in the relationship could have been spent in having more friends, finding your calling, or furthering your career."

Yes, that's cost I can believe in.

Hit By a Box

"In terms of fast food and deep understanding of the culture of fast food, I'm your man."

Bill Gates

http://www.hangintherejack.com

Sometime in late 2008, I wrote about my irrational love for Jack in the Box tacos. Somebody at Box headquarters must have read my blog, because they decided to line extend the two for $.99 wonders into a new, higher margin item. I know, because I was there tonight. It was supposed to be just a quick stop for two tacos. Which, with my complete cooperation, morphed into four.

If JITB tacos aren't bad enough -- and, there has always been some question about whether they actually constitute "food" -- the JITB product people have now mercilessly unleashed "Taco Nachos." The two for $.99 tacos cut into four wedges (the shape of nachos!), spread over a bed of shredded lettuce (that would otherwise be put inside the tacos!), topped with sliced jalapeno peppers (real nacho stuff!), and covered with classic not-really-cheese nacho cheese sauce. Thereby eliminating the need for the half-slice of American cheese in the regular tacos.

For this culinary adventure in a plastic tray with a plastic lid, they charge $1.99. The incremental profit for this item over the two for $.99 tacos must be at least $.50. God Bless America!

I will try (almost) anything (at least) once. I ordered the Taco Nachos and two Tacos. And a small soft drink.

Verdict? Two for $.99 tacos cannot be beat.

But, that's not the biggest piece of learning at the foot of the JITB marketing temple tonight. No, that distinction belongs to the "get well" poster for Jack Box situated in the front window by the front door. JITB has launched another web-based underground marketing campaign that, this time, leverages Facebook, Twitter, and Flickr to promote breakfast for dinner, dinner for breakfast, and lunch for late-night snack.

In the late 1990's, JITB created the "Meaty Cheesey Boys," a fictional boys band to launch their "Ultimate Cheeseburger," a double quarter-pound hamburger monstrosity with three or four slices of cheese on it, I can't remember which. They also teased the possibility of the "Spicy Crispy Chicks" in a TV ad for their Spicy Crispy Chicken Sandwich on a Bun, but Jack rejected it as too sexist.

Now, we learn tonight that Jack Box is fighting for his life in a southern California hospital after having been hit by a bus. His surgeon used all his glue gun skills to repair the massive head wound on Jack's massive head, but he's reportedly clinging by a thin thread at this very hour.

Needless to say, this news is quite disturbing. The accident occurred on February 1, but apparently the mainstream media thinks they have better things to do than keep the JITB family informed about Mr. Box's health. What, they don't think the stock price will be affected by this???? For crying out loud, Apple took an enormous hit just on the rumor that Steve Jobs had an eating disorder.

I am outraged. And, based on the information I've pieced together tonight, I believe the evidence will eventually point to the acting-CEO as a person of interest. Either he put out the hit on Jack, or he's a co-conspirator with a jealous competitor. Probably someone located in or near the Indianapolis area.

I've known Jack since back in the day. When they blew him up. Literally blew him up!!! He was just doing his job, sitting in his box, day after day after day and night after night after night. Helping customers in the drive-through. Speaking only when spoken to. Never had a harsh word for anyone and never hurt a fly. Sure, he was boring. But, his job description didn't ask him to lead the company, invent new products, or take a hit for his employees. Well, now someone has gone and done it again!!

In what can only be described as a miracle, Jack survived that murder attempt. He rose from the ashes to take control of the company and lift it to heights never before imagined.

And, if I know Jack, he'll pull through this latest conspiracy, too. I don't know if he'll be able to show his face or get his head through the door ever again, but he'll be back.

Hang in there, Jack.

Know Your Pig

"Better beans and bacon in peace than cakes and ale in fear."

Aesop


In the spirit of all things stimulating, I'm delighted to learn that inventive pork lovers can make bacon sandwiches without those pesky gaps and breaks. If you don't already know about it, you've come to the right Piggy blog. I guess this thingy was invented more than a year ago. But, I was in my NBZ - No Bacon Zone - and missed it altogether.

As Martha would say, that was probably a Good Thing. But, now that I know about it, I cannot resist the urge to chronicle its incredibleness on When Pigs Fly.

Yes folks, I'm here to be certain you know everything you need to know about Bacon Weave. BACON WEAVE! A.k.a. Bacon Placemat.

Yes, you read that right. Let's face it, anything in strips can be woven into stuff. Placemats, baskets, throw rugs. Sandwich filling. I don't care what you do in the privacy of your own home, but I'm recommending you limit your weaving to sandwich filling.

If you love bacon....Or, you're hoping to die a bacon-related death.....and you're still reading this note....your life is about to change forever. Or, for as long as you live. However long that might be. And, probably, not for the better.

Step 1:

Weave bacon on a sheet of aluminum foil

Step 2:

Bake in an oven, somewhere between 350 and 400 degrees F. until done.

It seems like you would want to put the bacon on the foil into an bake-proof skillet to ensure you don't have dripping bacon grease all over your oven. Or, a nasty house fire.

Step 3:

What you do with your bacon weave at this point is your business.

Step 4:

Call cardiologist, if desired.

Coughing Fit

"Would you like me to give you a formula for....success? It's quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You're thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn't at all...you can be discouraged by failure, or you can learn from it. So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because, remember that's where you'll find success. On the far side."

Thomas J. Watson, Founder of IBM, 1874-1956.

I wonder what Bill D. Cat would say about the world today. When he was around, he spoke English and had a very advanced vocabulary. But, he frequently choked on hairballs. And, to that he generally responded "Tbbbbbt." Or, "AAACK!"

Based on everything I'm hearing today, either one of those outbursts would fit the occasion.

His creator, Berkeley Breathed, has said that his goal was to create a character so repulsive, that it would have absolutely no merchandising potential. But, as if to illustrate how powerful capitalism really is as an economic concept, all sorts of Bill the Cat trinkets and trash have sold around the world.

A few weeks ago, I took a trip to the far side of fear, uncertainty, and doubt. I tried to write about it. That didn't help. Of course, it didn't change anything either. Everything is much worse now than it was then. And, it's much worse now than I could have ever imagined that it would be now. But, I'm not going to start writing about it again.

I do know one thing. Fear, uncertainly and doubt never jump-started anything.

I heard recently that one of the wacko members of the American Dynasty stated before Congress that pig farms are more dangerous than Osama bin Laden.

OK. Good to know. But, When Pigs Fly isn't going anywhere.

Seeing Red

"The true colour of life is the colour of the body, the colour of the covered red, the implicit and not explicit red of the living heart and the pulses. It is the modest colour of the unpublished blood."

Alice Meynell, British poet and essayist (1847–1922): “The True Colour of Life,” Essays (1914)


http://www.nhlbi.nhi.gov/education/hearttruth/

"Celebrate National Wear Red Day–the first Friday in February–when Americans nationwide wear red to show their support for women's heart disease awareness.

"The Heart Truth–a national awareness campaign for women about heart disease–created and introduced the Red Dress as the national symbol for women and heart disease awareness in 2002 to deliver an urgent wakeup call to American women. The Red Dress reminds women of the need to protect their heart health, and inspires them to take action. National Wear Red Day promotes the symbol and provides an opportunity for everyone to unite in this life-saving awareness movement by showing off a favorite red dress, shirt, or tie, or Red Dress Pin.

"Join the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute; Office on Women's Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services; WomenHeart: the National Coalition for Women with Heart Disease; American Heart Association; and many other groups to promote National Wear Red Day in your local community. Visit The Heart Truth's National Wear Red Day toolkit to get free information, ideas, and materials to help share this special day.

"See how other groups from across the nation are supporting National Wear Red Day."

Lemon Law

"We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons."

Alfred E. Neuman

Since the high temperature today in metro Denver is forecast to be around 70 degrees, it's hard not to get an early dose of spring fever. No sooner had I pondered the chocolate possibilities for Valentine's Day, and my mind had already wandered over to the next set of somethings that might come next. In my world, "something" in Spring will likely involve fresh lemons .







































It didn't take long to find a great-looking lemon cupcake with lemon frosting, a little heart cut from lemon rind, and a fresh raspberry on top. My kind of cupcake. My kind of spring cupcake. But, serendipity being what it is on the internet, I found a lovely lemon subject that looked like it actually got its start on Valentine's Day. Hmmmm.

I've saved similar recipes in the past and never made them. And, the cut-off cupcake top is not a new idea. But, this one looks so sweet and light. I need another cupcake recipe or cupcake idea like I need another heart-shaped cookie cutter -- not much.

But, I can't help myself. It's a 'lil keeper.

Cupcake ingredients
2 sticks butter, softened
2 cups granulated sugar
4 large eggs
2-3/4 cups all purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk
2 Tablespoons lemon zest
2 Tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
*Confectioner’s sugar for dusting, later in the assembly

Pink Lemon frosting
4 cups confectioners sugar
1/2 cup butter - softened
2 Tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
(about two fresh lemons)
1 teaspoon grated lemon zest
2 Tablespoons milk
Gel food color - pink

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees, and prep a cupcake pan with liners.

In a mixing bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs, one by one, beating after each one.

In a separate bowl combine the flour, baking soda and salt.

Add these dry ingredients to the butter mixture, alternating with the milk. End with the milk (for smoother batter). Mix in the lemon juice and lemon zest.

Fill the cupcake liners TO THE TOP. This will insure that the cup runs over, which is required to cup off the tops. Yield should be about 20 cupcakes. Bake for 20 minutes, test with a toothpick, and cool on a wire rack.

For the frosting:

With an electric mixer, beat sugar and butter. Add the lemon juice and the zest until combined. Then add the milk - increase mixer speed until it becomes light and fluffy, then add gel tint to achieve your desired color, and mix until the color is completely combined.

When the cupcakes have cooled, use a serrated knife to gently cut off the fluffy tops, right at the paper. Using a small heart, or any tiny shaped cookie cutter, cut out the center of the tops. Put the centers aside. Dust the tops with confectioner’s sugar.

Cover the tops of the flat cupcakes with the pink frosting. Place one of the sugar-dusted tops on top of each cupcake. The remaining hearts can be dusted with powdered sugar and served separately.

Half-Baked

"Do your work with your whole heart, and you will succeed -- there's so little competition."

Elbert Hubbard






We're only 10 days away from Valentine's Day, and bakeries around the world are gearing up for it. For a long time, but especially in the vast world of cake molds, bakers have been able to squeeze their favorite recipes into a heart-shaped dessert. Looking to capture the full measure of each seasonal merchandising opportunity, retailers unveiled their displays of the heart-shaped offerings at about the precise moment the Christmas tree-shaped offerings were whisked off the floor.

I've contributed my fair share to the industry. My heart shapes include a 12" cake pan, 4" tart pans, and cookie cutters in 12 sizes. In the most ambitious years, when we lived on a cul-de-sac with 17 children in seven homes, I sent forth gifts with heart-shaped tags. First names rendered in careful calligraphy. The obligatory hot pink or red cellophane wrap.

It was fun. It was original. And, it took a lot of time.

In the working world, such time for fun and originality is often in short supply. And, I've reached a stage where I either lack sufficient target recipients or the desire to swap my time in the office for time in the kitchen. The only bakery item my husband cares about is the strawberry cake he hopes he'll get for his birthday. That won't happen until April, so he's not even dialed into what he might be missing.

This year, I'm thinking I should just indulge in the window-shopping opportunities that present themselves online. I won't look twice at the over-burdened bakery tables by the entrance to the grocery stores anyway, since none of it eats as good as anything I could make. I probably shouldn't fire up the ovens for heart-shaped anything.

But, I know that I can do it if I change my mind.

The heart-shaped shortbread cookies,
sandwiched with raspberry jam and half-dipped in melted semi-sweet chocolate.

The red velvet cupcakes with buttercream frosting tinted whatever color dresses well for Valentine's Day. Maybe some candy sprinkles from my red, white, and pink mix. Or, the mix with the little red hearts.

The rolled-out butter cookies, cut into a family of heart-shaped sizes, coated in candy-apple red, powder pink, fuchsia, and white icing.

The double-secret brownie recipe, either baked in the heart-shaped tart pans or cut out from a sheet pan into heart shapes with the cookie cutters.

Oh yes, I can do it.

Maybe I should just go to the cabinet to be sure I have enough powdered sugar on hand.

Just in case I change my mind.

Future Chocolate Shock

"I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process.... It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance?"

Unknown

I don't know when it will happen, but it will happen. Someday. Someday soon.

I will make this cupcake. I will eat it. And, it will be good.

Thanks to www.cupcakestakethecake.com for adding to my Cupcake T'Do List.

Moist chocolate mud cupcakes with creme de menthe infused italian meringue buttercream and topped with an Andes mint.

The Worst of Times

"The fan fave, "Free Doritos," was created by a couple of non-advertising people, who entered a contest called Doritos "Crash The Super Bowl" program. "

CBS Early Show, 2/2/09

Most years, I watch the Super Bowl for the commercials. It's been that way since 1984, when I had a big dog in the hunt. The one that actually changed the way marketers viewed and used the Super Bowl. But, this year, I cared about the game. I wanted the Arizona Cardinals to win, and I wanted Troy Polamalu to win. So, that was a problem. Arizona almost won, which means they lost. And, Troy Polamalu won. One outta two ain't bad.

Meanwhile, I took my "breaks" during the game to avoid missing the possibility of a really great spot. Too bad that a bunch of people have ruined some of the suspense by airing their spots on YouTube early. Or, funneling segments to news and talking head programs to judge before they've even aired in their entirety and in context.

By halftime, I didn't think I was going to miss anything anymore. The fourth quarter was actually about football -- really, really great football -- so, I took my "break" during the ads. If I missed anything, I can't find it today on any of the online fan voting sites.

Not to worry. I managed to name a favorite spot. Actually, it didn't air inside the game. It ran twice that I know about -- once in the final hour of the seven-day pre-game show and another time in the post-game show that was mercifully short to make way for "The Office." Which was insanely great. Maybe some of their writers can get involved in the Super Bowl ads next year....

I guess most of the fan sites voted for "Free Doritos" as their favorite. Hard to argue with that. I laughed out loud like a fool. But, it's another one of those spots that has a single punch line that makes it. And, depending on your attention span (mine is short), you might find it funny a few more times. Me? Laughed out loud one more time. That's it. That doesn't mean it wasn't great the one time it ran inside the game. But, I don't believe it's a good sign for the ad industry that the fan favorite was conceived by amateurs. I don't know what it means for the economy.

And, I know that some people are just really put out by the E*Trade baby. Sick and tired of him. Sick of seeing him be sick on camera. Tired of him nailing the jocular BMIC (Big Man In highChair), tired of the Blackberry, etc., etc. The spot that ran inside the game was fun -- "Take these broken wings..." I laughed a lot. But, "Big Game Singing Baby" didn't get my first place vote.

I vote for E*Trade "Golf Baby." The Taylor Made visor. The golf club setting.

"Frank, it was on the cart path...."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5431p7gxWOM