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"Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Poet (1854-2000)

My periodic perusal of headline-style websites brings new dimension to the habit of Internet surfing. I can go a mile wide and an inch deep through a plethora of trivial and useless information faster that way.

Add my cell phone apps to this mix, and I'm willing to accept the moniker bestowed upon me by the meek and average in the second grade way-back machine: "Walking Set of Encyclopedias." If only they knew me now!

Google Queen.

For metallic leather shoes, the best way to either preserve or restore their luster is with the Tarrago Metallic Shoe Creme line. Bad scuffs can be re-dyed with the dye kit. Need to dye AND polish? Tarrago makes a kit containing both the dye and creme; save $4.00 per color with the combo kit.

I ordered Platinum #506 and High Silver #106.

Those hermetic jar seals on the French line of traditional canning jars (the kind with the clamp lid, not the screw-on lid) don't last forever. Container Store is chronically out-of-stock on replacement jar seals - I don't know the reason. But, beware of imitators! Those orange jar seals sold on Amazon for La Parfait may be counterfeit. Well, they do fit the French line, but they weren't actually made in France.

I haven't decided what to do yet. The measurements are listed in metric, and my jars have lid openings of 4" and 3-1/4" -- when we lived in northern California, these replacements seals were easy to find. I wonder if everyone is having problems finding them; or, if it's just that Denver doesn't have many specialty cooking stores in suburban neighborhoods; or, if things are so bad in California now that they can't find these jar seals either.

I "shoplifted" a bunch of replacement seals on Amazon. You know what I mean. You've probably done it, too. You're on a website, you put stuff in the cart, then you sneak off the web page without paying for it.

Some ingenious e-commerce sites send e-mails saying things like: "Did you forget to finalize your purchase on Crate & Barrel today?"


Busted.


So many of us may be doing it now, they're getting more desperate for closure. Last night, I received an e-mail offering me an additional 20% discount good for 24 hours if I would buy the stuff I left in my cart. It conveniently gave me a link that directed me right back to the exact spot where I fled the building....er, page.


Nice try!


I'm sure it actually works more than it doesn't work. They know it's cheaper to get a customer that was nine toes over the finish line than to drum up a new customer altogether.


Good stuff....


When we traveled with all the Dickersons (from the H. W. Dickerson branch) to Europe in 1985, we stayed at the Hotel Elizabethpark in Bad Gastein at the beginning of the trip. Alright, I know that was a really long time ago. And, according to Wikipedia, the population of Bad Gastein is up to a staggering 5,838 people now. But, does anyone know if they still have those dark green bar soaps in the rooms? I don't think so. I looked at the hotel website photos of the bathrooms, and I only see little bottles of clear liquid stuff on the counters.


Back in the day, I was so taken with these little rectangles that smelled of pine and laurel and verveine and a bunch of other green stuff, I cajoled Mark to walk down the street with me in the dead of Alpen winter into the village to buy six of the full-size bars from the local Apotheke. I eked out those bars for a very long time; in the days prior to the Internet, thinking I would never see them again anyway, I failed to save a wrapper. At least, I think that I didn't save one. In the meantime, we've moved from Alameda to Pleasant Hill to Highlands Ranch.


When someone asks me something I don't know, I say "let's go to the Google." I say it when someone wants to argue about something - anything. I don't believe it's the same thing as being intellectually lazy, since I'm actually seeking answers and intend to commit them to memory. To store them within the trillion cubbies inside my brain and hope that I'll be able to find 'em later, if I ever need 'em again.


I've been to the Google several times about this soap I loved in Austria. I've surfed and surfed. Over the past few years. And, recently. As recently as last night. It's highly possible that this soap doesn't exist anymore. It might have been a garden-variety grocery store type of product. You know, in the same way that Mercedes Benz is considered the middle class workhorse automobile of the common man in Germany.


Since it was a room amenity in a spa hotel located smack in the middle of a relatively tiny spa town in the state of Salzburg, I'm hoping that's not the case. But, I can't remember if it was from Austria or Germany. I think the wrapper was printed entirely in German. I've searched soaps from Austria, Germany, Salzburg, Vienna, Bad Gastein, Bad Hofgastein, soaps generically from Europe. I've scanned the websites of soap distributors all over Europe.


Beyond having no way to know if this soap still exists, I cannot know what type of ownership, name, formula, color, or labelling changes likely occurred over the past 26 years. Drat! I'm a marketer. And, one thing I know more than anything: it's very difficult to get people to stick to what works. New people come onto brands and products and want to embed their fingerprints on stuff that doesn't need to be changed, just for the sake of proving their mettle and fitness for the next level. The hardest thing to do when new to that type of position is to leave well enough alone.


I can only imagine that the object of my search lives in the marketing equivalent of a secure, underground bunker location; where someone in their wisdom has messed with my fantasy. Holding it hostage from my life forever.


That doesn't stop me from wondering if it's hiding in such brands as Argana by Argan Kontor; Alepp Laurel Olive Oil soap from Pegasus Trade; or Body Bar soap by Natalya.


Probably not.


Remember when weatherpeople were never able to predict the weather? Well, I want to assure you that those days are over. The Weather Channel app on my phone directed me to a link that announced that at least 100 million Americans are living in the upcoming "snow stripe" that will develop from Denver across the plains to somewhere in Ohio, to coincide roughly with Groundhog Day.


It must be true, because Facebook friends began posting articles today about the weather forecasts for Monday and Tuesday in their section of the stripe as fact.


I'm not sure the words "fact" and "weather forecast" have ever been used correctly in a sentence. But, since I can't talk about politics or business on WPF (for your protection and for mine), which means I cannot possibly comment on Egypt in any way, I'm left to talk about the inane and the meaningless. The distractions from reality.


I'm just one person. I may not be one in a million. But, according to the Weather Channel, I'm one in 100 million who will have nothing to talk about next week but the weather.


That is, unless someone can tell me who stocks real pie plates?


I mean the kind that used to hold a Marie Callender's pie....


Not the paper or cardboard type used now; and, not the foil pans sold in a package of three at Christmas with a preformed graham cracker crust pressed inside....


The kind that can be used to broil something in the oven....round...not too deep and not too shallow.....


And, not too expensive.....I'm not going to pay $14.50 for a tin pan that I need in quantity, that will likely only see the oven when Mark wants a Hebrew National.....


And, not non-stick, but I'd take that so long as it's dishwasher-safe.....


Would a restaurant supply company be the best source?

An inquiring mind wants to know....