Eat Mor Chikin

"Roast Beef, medium, is not only a food. It is a philosophy. Seated at Life's Dining Table, with the menu of Morals before you, your eye wanders a bit over the entrees, the hors d'oeuvres, and the things a la, though you know that Roast Beef, medium, is safe and sane, and sure."

Edna Ferber

The 53rd Annual Lawry's Beef Bowl was completed last night, as the USC Trojans took their turn at the famed restaurant on the corner of La Cienega and Wilshire Boulevard in Beverly Hills.

A couple of decades ago, the people who run this thing would publish the poundage consumed by the competing teams in the Rose Bowl as a measure of their manhood or athletic prowess, whichever comes first. Frequently, the winner of the Beef Bowl went on to win the contest in Pasadena. Over time, the feast-fest was modified to serve the players no more than two complete portions of the prime rib slabs, mashed potatoes and gravy, and --- drumroll please --- best creamed corn on the planet.

Even without published, confirmed consumption reports, diehard SC fans around the world still await word on how much cow went down the chutes of their beloveds, hoping that the feat might offset concerns about the growing list of injured or academically ineligible players for January 1.

I didn't spend any time trying to find the tally for Penn State, but http://www.uscripsit.com/ reported last night that early estimates showed the Trojans consumed somewhere between 600 and 650 pounds of prime rib. Call me crazy, but that 50 pounds of swag seems like a lot of beef to me.

Family and friends of When Pigs Fly ate prime rib last night, too. Almost at the exact time as the Trojans. We would have been well ahead of them in cleaning our plates had the hunk of beef roasted according to my carefully-constructed schedule. But, I had everything in one oven, since the second oven called in sick on Christmas morning and hasn't been seen since.

No explanation, no prognosis, no courtesy red-flag the day before, when I could have called a repairman. Just stopped working. A work shutdown. On strike. On Christmas!!! This after I lovingly used the automatic clean feature on Tuesday afternoon, to remove the layer of poultry fat that ensued from roasting seven pounds of turkey parts at 500 degrees for stock.


That's OK. I haven't always had the luxury of a double oven. I made some tremendous meals and baked mass quantities in a small, u-shaped kitchen in overpriced northern California for 13 years. With one oven.

But, I had to reboot my brain on Christmas. I got through it, even though the garbage disposal wasn't feeling too well on that particular day either. And, yesterday, I had already sacrified the creamy corn casserole I was planning to go with the prime rib, because I wasn't making mashed potatoes again. And, well, there wasn't room for anything more next to eight baking russet potatoes and an 11 qt. Chantal roaster measuring 16.5" x 11.5." Holding a 11.25 lb. standing rib roast.

The needle on the big meat thermometer in the middle of this hunk of beef just wouldn't move. I was waiting for 125 degrees in the middle -- rare -- so that it would go to medium rare on the counter while it stood for 30 minutes outside the oven. Meanwhile, the hungry invitees began to pace. We have significant pacing space here, but even their wide swath of steps could not will this beast to roast faster.

Finally, I just gave up and took the thing out at 115 and covered it with foil. About a half hour later, we discovered that the very middle of the roast was exactly as the thermometer had said. Very rare. Very bloody rare.

But, the rest of the meat was exactly as planned. Well-done end pieces, basted every 30 minutes with butter, were snatched by the diners who don't like to hear the meat moo on the plate. And, every piece progressed perfectly from there to an inedible center only about an inch thick.

Whew!!! Medium well, medium, and medium rare were all present and rapidly consumed. Along with soft baked potatoes, peas, broccoli, bakery croissant pinwheels (in lieu of popovers or Yorkshire pudding), and a sample of roasted cippoline onions.

We put out the leftover Christmas cookies, cupcakes, brownies, and Nana's highly-sought fudge for dessert. And, all was well.

The artery clogging meal was pronounced a total success.

I don't know if it will help the Trojans on January 1, but I've done all I can do from here. And, I did it with an injured oven. So, I don't want to hear any excuses on game day.

Fight ON!!! Beat the Nittany Lions!!





http://www.nbclosangeles.com/sports/football/USC_Players_Attend_Beef_Bowl_Los_Angeles.html